Month: November 2006

This eerily echoes (some of) what I wrote on my profile page…

You have always been on the move seeking affectionate, satisfying and harmonious relationships. Your ultimate goal has been the realisation of an intimate union in which there could be love, self-sacrifice and mutual trust. It has often been said that ‘True love is just around the corner’ and – if you haven’t found it as yet – you possibly soon will.

You want what you want and you need all that you want and, as they say in the movies, you are the sort of individual that ‘By hook or by crook’ you will, by fair means or foul, endeavour to get what you are looking for.

Being a very proud individual, you tend to hold yourself aloof pretending that you are stoical – indifferent to pain and pleasure. This is not so, for in truth you are an extremely emotional individual, one that may make a hasty decision and perhaps regret it at leisure. It is time now to break the bond of detachment and be the ‘you’ that you would like to be – give vent to your emotions and enjoy yourself.

You are feeling full of uncertainty and worrying over what you consider as missed opportunities. This is causing considerable stress and tension. You feel that there must be more to life than the constant pressures and anxieties – that surely life must hold far more opportunities than that which it has to date presented to you. You sincerely believe that there must be a simpler way to tap life’s hidden recourses and should you be able to find that way – you could achieve your hearts desire. It’s the not knowing ‘how’ that is affording you the constant worry. You are constantly probing and seeking – trying to ensure that at all times you are on your guard against missing any opportunity. ‘Enough is enough’. You are anxious to avoid further setbacks. You are strenuously trying to make sure that you will not be overlooked and you badly need security.

You have so many ideas that you would like to revitalise but you need to realise a stable and peaceful condition to do so. Once you can free yourself from all the aggravation and tension around you, you will make strides that may amaze you. You will not be prevented from achieving all the things you so desire.

Try it at: Colorgenics Profile

Current mood:  chipper

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

I just want to share a small list of things that I have to be thankful for right now. As readers of my previous blog postings may be aware, I am currently unemployed and have lost my boyfriend along with some other previous drama. Despite that, I’ve decided to come up with things that I can be grateful for.

1. My health is good. Now that I’m not working, many irritating things I suffered from seem to have vanished.

2. I have good friends. I’ve received many words of encouragement from them in my time of need.

3. I have hope. I realize that I do have marketable skills and this is a temporary situation that I shall overcome.

4. I have MySpace friends. What else do I need?

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

Currently listening:
Que Pasa
By Gato Barbieri
Release date: 22 April, 1997

Current mood:  chipper

Category: Parties and Nightlife

Go figure…

Being unemployed and suddenly single at the same time has been rather intense for me, especially leading up to the holiday. A friend of mine suggested I go out tonight and also called one of her friends so that we could meet up and go together. I didn’t really feel like going out because I’m suffering from a BAD case of the doldrums. However, I went out anyway. I am so glad I DID!

I ran into someone who used to work at my old horrible job who is now working for herself helping those who want to start a business. I then met someone in the entertainment industry who knows someone needing an executive assistant – that’s me! Tonight was a very eventful night for me and that’s before I get to the fun part.

Now for the fun part…

I danced my A$$ off tonight. All of the stress that I’ve been under came out in the music. I danced and danced and danced. I was mostly on beat too. There were people there who were far from on beat. I had the rather entertaining opportunity to see two women fall because they were inebriated beyond coordination. I am glad that I’m over that stage in my life where I feel the need to get wasted. One drink was sufficient for me and my coordination didn’t suffer as a result of it.

It has taken me a year to go out and really have fun but I’m extremely grateful for the timing because I needed this now.

Petitefreespirit is slowly returning.

Current mood:  contemplative

Category: Religion and Philosophy

How do you define yourself? Usually people define themselves by their job, which makes sense because that is what we spend most of our waking time doing. However there are instances where people’s identities are discordant with their job. You often see lawyers (or other professionals) who are artists or musicians on the inside but were afraid to pursue their talent or dream.

I now ask the question because I am no longer employed and have lost the employment based part of my identity. On the contrary, I don’t define myself as unemployed yet either. I view it more as a transitional period where I have the opportunity to choose the definition that I think fits me better. I was a secretary or administrative assistant or executive assistant or whatever the term people prefer to use. However, I never considered myself to BE that. I would love to change my path so that what I do for money is more in line with who I am as a person. The problem is, I don’t know what I now want to be. My former passion was clothing and I dreamed of being a fashion designer – despite the fact that I can’t draw AT ALL. I still have a passion for clothing and the accoutrements that we use to define ourselves from the outside. Now if I could only find a way to turn that passion into a career. If anyone has any recommendations, feel free to jump in with sound advice.

Signing off,

The Petitefreespirit Who Is No Longer in Discordance with her Job Because She No Longer Has A Job

Currently listening:
The Beautiful Game
By Acoustic Alchemy
Release date: 23 May, 2000

Category: Food and Restaurants

I’ll be the Dining Out for Life hostess at Atomic Cowboy during the lunch hour, November 28. Lunch is served from 11am-2pm and I’ll be there a little before and maybe a little after those hours. Feel free to stop in, get a bite to eat, say hello and ummm, make a donation. Saying hello would be nice but I would love it if you did one (or both) of the other two things as well.

Dining Out for Life is an annual fund-raising event for Saint Louis Effort for AIDS. Atomic Cowboy is a participating restaurant that is providing 100% of their receipts to STLEFA. Now that’s a contribution! Help them help STLEFA and those that STLEFA assists in the local community.

Also didja know, your dining dollars and donations help STLEFA continue to provide free (yes, I said it – FREE) HIV testing (among other things) to the community? It’s far better to know than be in the dark…

This is the information for Atomic Cowboy:

4140 Manchester Ave
Saint Louis, MO 63110
(314) 775-0775
Atomic Cowboy

More importantly this is information for STLEFA and Dining Out for Life (if Atomic Cowboy is not on your beaten track, there are other restaurants listed on the Dining Out for Life link that are also participating):

Saint Louis EFFORT FOR AIDS
1027 S. Vandeventer ..700
St. Louis, MO 63110
314-645-6451
1-888-785-3321

Yet another HIV/AIDS public service announcement brought to you by Petitefreespirit.

Currently listening:
Last Tango in Paris
By Gato Barbieri
Release date: 11 May, 2004

Not what you’re thinking, I didn’t lie – I don’t have any children. I do however sponsor a little girl in Haiti through World Vision. Once a year, I receive an update on her progress and a new photo. Today I received this year’s progress report with her photo attached. That made me smile for a moment.

Looking at her photo kind of reminds me of me when I was her age. I’ve had incredible opportunities to come my way (others I’ve created by sheer will). When I was her age (11) I couldn’t have foreseen some of the things I’ve experienced/achieved. I can definitely say I’ve not allowed my austere beginnings to impede my dreams. It has taken a little longer for me to accomplish some things but I’m accomplishing them nonetheless. I hope that my sponsorship will in turn somehow offer her hope for the future. If nothing else, maybe it lets her know that some strange lady in the US knows who she is and is helping her and her family a little each month. In times of need, just knowing that someone out there cares for you and is doing something can mean the whole world.

This is the story of me and my little girl.

Currently listening:
Blink the Brightest
By Tracy Bonham
Release date: 21 June, 2005

I’m watching the BET Hip/Hop Awards that was filmed in Atlanta and I miss my old hometown for a moment. Oh well, such is life…

Saint Louis, show me what you got!

Current mood:  contemplative

I’m trying to be strong. I’ve lost my job and my boyfriend all within a week of each other. I already had another issue that I was dealing with in October where I lost something else. I’m trying to keep my spirits up about the situation and it’s not as bad as it could be. I have been able to pay my utilities in advance so I have credits on my power, gas and cell phone bills (yes, cell phone is a utitility!!!). With my next check, I plan to pay my rent in advance for December and January. By my estimations, I should (hopefully) be okay with living expenses from my last check and unemployment until I figure out what I want to do with my life. I have so much chaos and turmoil right now that I don’t really know what I want, except to find a way to study in Geneva for two months. With all of my free time to think, I’m now able to go back to some of my dreams that I ignored because I was too distracted.

I am fortunate in that I have a class that I enjoy and look forward to attending. The other class is a BORE but it does offer some interesting insight when I’m fully alert to absorb it. I feel that my life right now is about exploring possibilities and school is the perfect place for me to explore those possibilities and also expand my horizons further (they’re pretty expansive as it is). I have no idea what the outcome of all these changes will be but I am trying to keep a positive, optimistic outlook.

Petitefreespirit isn’t as free-spirited as she generally is but hopefully she’ll make a comeback soon. I miss having a twinkle in my eye that’s not a tear and having a smile on my face that starts in my heart.

Currently listening:
Corinne Bailey Rae
By Corinne Bailey Rae
Release date: 20 June, 2006

Current mood:  sad

Category: Romance and Relationships

When we tell someone that we miss them in English, we say I miss you. However in French and Italian, the sentiment is expressed by saying you are missing to me.

I’m suffering from that right now, whether I choose to say it in French, Italian or English. I’m missing someone right now that I’ve grown to enjoy and anticipate being around. To say that we are on a hiatus could be wrong, saying that it is over could be wrong. I personally don’t know what the right answer is but I do know that this moment isn’t a good one. I feel as if I’ve purchased the penthouse suite at the Heartbreak Hotel and am captive there. I don’t want my life to be/feel like this.

I’m not really listening to the entire Santana CD, just his version of Europa.

Currently listening:
The Best of Santana
By Santana
Release date: 31 March, 1998