I’ve attended a few weddings recently (three within the course of two weeks or so) and find myself truly thinking about the gravity of the vows. Wedding vows, of course, are made at the start of the marriage. Although there can be health issues already present at the start of the marriage, frequently the severity of existing health issues unfolds later. It is in those times that the couple’s commitment to the vows spoken in the beginning are tested.
This year has brought a couple to the forefront of my mind because of their ongoing commitment in the face of extreme health issues. Sadly, their vows ended with death doing them part.
I met the couple two years ago. I did not have a car at the time and they graciously offered to bring me to the last leg of my morning trek. Their graciousness was truly appreciated during my time of need. In riding with them together, and the husband separately, I was able to witness the high level of care they had for each other. She did not work because of complications from an old car accident that wouldn’t allow her to sit at an office for hours on end. However, she did drop him off and pick him up each day from the commuter lot where our workdays officially began and ended. He, on the other hand, had a medical condition that required him to immediately go home to do a critical at-home treatment. She was always there (or close to being there) to pick him up at the end of the day so that he could start his treatments. With the medical issues they both had, they still maintained a commitment to each others well-being.
Later, he had an unforeseen complication that wreaked havoc on the already fragile state of affairs his health was in. Their time and energy were devoted to trying to stabilize his health. Simultaneous to his downturn, she too had critical concerns with her health that needed to be addressed. In caring for him, she frequently pushed her own medical issues by the wayside. She and I would speak infrequently on the phone but would make up for lost time by the length of the calls.
The last time we spoke, things were moving in a more positive direction for them as a family. One day, I ran into them unexpectedly at the grocery store. It felt really good to see the two of them, him especially because it had been quite a while since I had seen him or spoken to him. He looked in good spirits and seemed like his old self again. About three months’ later, he died. That, potentially, was the last time that I would see either of them as she has probably moved by now.
I am intentionally vague with details because ultimately their story is not my story to tell. But I will share that, in the face of serious medical conditions that severely impacted both of their lives, they were there for each other. My conversations with her invariably included detailed updates on his medical progress as well as hers. My conversations with him showed a concern on his part that she was taken care of in the event that something were to happen to him. They were as committed through the difficulties of sickness as they were in health till death did them part.