I don’t drink but naturally find myself in situations with those who do. Recently, I came face to face with the old Latin saying, “In vino veritas” or “in wine, truth.”
Almost a month ago, I met a man who seemed to be head over heels about me. To the point that he instantly mentioned marriage. I do wish to be married but I recognize it may take a little while to get to know one another before making that commitment (been there, regretfully done that). One of the things that came up during our initial conversation was the fact that he had a three year-old whose mother died a year ago. He said that he is really motivated to have a good mother for his son. I do want children and didn’t have an issue with being an instant mother/step-mother. After having lost my own mother, I especially was touched by the idea of this young, motherless child needing a maternal influence in his life.
We continued to talk from time to time and each conversation included his desire to marry me and a pledge of devotion to me on his part. However, wine recently introduced an element to our conversation that had been lacking – the truth. It turns out, his son’s mother is very much alive and well and taking care of him! The truth (according to him and the wine) is that she is not very intelligent and would be unable to raise him to be a well-rounded person, comfortable in the world. I, on the other hand, would be a great benefit to his son because of my comparative intelligence. In addition, in his view of things, his son’s mother would be almost like a lady-in-waiting for me. She would be called upon to take care of me and guide me (the son, mother and, sometimes, father live in another country whose native tongue is Spanish) on a day-to-day basis.
Prior to meeting this person, I did (and still do) have a place in my heart for someone else who may not have an interest in marriage. In an attempt to be honest, I did mention that person when the topic came up. The Lazarus-ian Baby Mama? Crickets.
Needless to say, I needed a drink after that ill-fated conversation. There were other elements of the conversation as well but the biggest part of the conversation was the “veritas” the “vino” revealed.
Now, if the honest marriage-minded person would please step forward…