Ever since the first time I had seen flamenco dancing, I was captivated by the passion that flowed through the dancer’s moves. Dance is only half an event without accompanying music (although dance does exist without music). Flamenco guitar (to me) is a perfect, passionate musical accompaniment to the dance. There is something about the passion that is expressed in both the dance and the music that makes indifference or tuning out not a viable option for me. There will be a flamenco dance performance coming up soon that I want to attend which spurred my curiosity about taking flamenco dance lessons. My curiosity is now abated. Lessons are offered so far away that I would be too exhausted from the effort of getting there to actually be effective in learning. I once took a few belly dance lessons and may need to resume those in order to instill some type of dance-related discipline and grace into my formerly awkward physical self. Or maybe I could imitate this performance in the confines of the bedroom as I did when I was an overly imaginative kid singing some Donna Summer song. As an adult, I would leave the standing ovation out of the scenario.
In anticipation of watching the live performance, I found this video. Enjoy! Of course, a mention of flamenco would be incomplete without my favorite flamenco guitar performance…
Month: January 2012
Baby, baby, baby
Last night, we had a baby over and I spent much time holding him. He was four months old and had the sweetest temperament ever. I had what I thought would be an opportunity to hold him for a short while and ended up being attached for far longer than I anticipated he would allow. At one point, he became slightly cranky because sleep was coming for him. Realizing this, I decided to employ the Nighty-Night technique I figured out when my niece was a baby. When he had been awake and engaged, I held him near my right side. When I realized he was sleepy, I turned him so that he rested on my left side and could hear my heart beat. Within minutes, his eyes closed but then reopened after a pause. This happened a couple of times until he fell asleep without reopening his eyes again. To test his level of sleep, I later lifted his free arm and dropped it. It fell straight down without any stiffening from him. He was well and truly asleep. A sleeping baby is one of the sweetest things in the world. As much as I would love to experience the sweetness of my own sleeping baby, time continues marching forward and, at 40, the forward march of time is not a benign element in my desire for children. Although I’m an extremely capable and independent person in other areas of my life, I realize this is the one thing I don’t want to do alone. In New Year, New Optimism I outlined what I would like to do from a professional standpoint. This post is more personal. Personally, I would love to, first, have a relationship (I am a step-by-step person). However, it would need to be a loving relationship where creating a family would be a welcome option. Then, I would love to create said family. As before, I’ll do what I can solo and leave things open for change. Anything can happen…
New Year, New Optimism
The new year has begun and with it, a fresh dose of optimism. Both the good and bad (which seemed to be extremes) from last year are (hopefully) left in last year. I spoke with my Italian “brother from another mother” yesterday and we shared our wishes for this year. We both had big challenges in 2011 and formulated our wishes with the more trying aspects of last year in mind. I won’t reveal his simple wish but for a moment I almost ditto’ed his wish.
My wish
My wish is to get back on track (or, more accurately, on track). I have some pretty big professional goals, quite different from what I am currently or have previously been doing, that I would like to achieve. The time I spent in Switzerland made me feel as if I were on track. Many things fell into place to make that happen, notably a $5000 national scholarship. I spent the time since my return from Switzerland struggling. Struggling with lack of income. Struggling with low income once I started working again. Just struggling (see Living vs Existing). As stated in the previous paragraph, the struggles (along with the Swiss accomplishments) are left in last year. As this year begins, I’ve decided to focus my energies on getting back on track. It can never be said that I suffer from complacency by any stretch of the imagination…
What on track looks like
Sometimes I write things as little breadcrumbs for myself later. One of my greatest challenges is that I’m easily distracted and forget things quite frequently. Thus the breadcrumbs. I’ve not really needed a reminder of what on track looks like but I’ve decided to put it out here in the event someone reads this and wants to sign up. For me, on track ultimately means that I’ve started an organization (either a B-corporation or a non-profit) that works to manufacture disaster shelter. One of the twists of the idea is that it be a worker-owned cooperative. After having worked in some rather unsatisfying positions (ironically, the most unsatisfying was in manufacturing) and experiencing the upheaval caused by massive layoffs in the wake of the 2008 financial crisis, I would prefer to not re-create the same environment. This idea is a great leap from my previous work experience as an executive assistant or my current experience as a data administrator (I think it’s a fancier title for data entry clerk).
Challenges
One of the greatest challenges I face is that I don’t have a mentor or someone who I can turn to when everything is hazy. When I speak about the idea with people that I know, the tendency is that their eyes glaze over or they have a “that’s nice” response (sometimes it seems as if they fight to keep from patting me on the head absent-mindedly). It makes me feel as if I’m speaking into a void when that happens. One of January’s tasks is to find a mentor so that I can have someone against whom I can bounce some of my ideas and get feedback.
Leaving things open for change
One year many years ago, I had an extremely low paying job. My title was receptionist but my responsibilities were receptionist, executive assistant and administrative assistant. I was perpetually frustrated at this job because I felt I was working extremely hard and diligently for peanuts (a lower level of pay is peanut shells, peanut shell dust being the absolute lowest level of pay). When the company moved, I decided that I would not follow because the commute would be too taxing for the low level of pay. After I left, the company broke my position into separate positions; a receptionist, an executive assistant and an administrative assistant. The person who initially replaced me as receptionist (and all the other responsibilities) couldn’t believe that I did all of the things I did. After having left the position, I interviewed for a temporary position as an executive assistant. I wasn’t too sure about whether I qualified for the position but went anyway. I got the assignment. At the beginning of the year as the receptionist, my salary was $XK per year. With the temporary assignment, I went to $X+7K in annual salary. Once the assignment ended, I thought it was a fluke and worried that I might not find another position paying $X+7K. I started another assignment a few weeks after ending that assignment and was offered a permanent position a few weeks into the assignment. My permanent employment began in December, my salary? $X+15K… I’ve decided that I will take the steps that will lead me towards getting on track. However, I will also leave things open for change. A $15K annual salary increase was something that I could not have hoped or planned for, yet, it happened. And it happened to me. I’ll take a second round of that this year… Happy New Year!