Category: MySpace Archive

Current mood:  stressed

Category: Life

Then I can head off on my vacation. In the past couple of weeks, I’ve had my boss’ boss and his staff laid off (they are in another city), a large group of co-workers laid off (they are in the building with me) and just this week, my boss was let go as well (I sit right outside of his office).

Not to mention the airline canceled one of my vacation flights because they can no longer fly into the airport where I was going. I found that out Monday and sprouted a few gray hairs as a result of that. Tuesday ended up being the even bigger stress day because that’s when I found out my boss was being let go. Fortunately Wednesday and today have been relatively uneventful, I’ve just been trying to pick up the pieces and keep the ball rolling.

In addition, a friend that I was going to spend a day or two with is having issues with me and we are having serious communication lapses the week before I leave.

Is it next Friday yet? Is it time for my vacation to begin?

Current mood:  tired

Category: Life

For some reason, I’m inexhaustably exhausted. My tiredness seems to have no bottom. Being in the “female way” was one explanation I readily attributed to this malaise but it persists long after I thought it should have been over.

However, I do have some exciting things coming up each and every weekend for the next four weeks so I need to get some pep in my step. This weekend I go to Alabama to see my older sister graduate from college – yay Sis! The following weekend I head to Atlanta for a pre-vacation hair appointment. And then…

Memorial Day weekend I hit the blue skies heading to Europe for vacation! I finally figured out where I will be: London, Alghero (Sardinia), Rome and back to London again. I will try to throw in a day-trip to Florence if I can. If I can’t, I won’t complain, I’ll just have to save that for my next trip.

Hopefully by my next trip, I will have either a travel companion or someone that I can hang out with while over there. Or better yet, some handsome, dashing, debonair European man will sweep me off my feet and insist that I marry him. Then our vacations will be here in the US. Hmmm, I like the sound of that one.

Anywho, I certainly look forward to vacation because I’m a lot tired and extremely stressed out. The countdown begins. Fifteen days til vacation…

Current mood: contemplative

I spend an inordinate amount of time alone. I usually enjoy my own company, sometimes more so than the company of others. Then there are those other times where alone all of a sudden becomes lonely.

Today I attended a Catholic church (I’m not Catholic by the way) because a classmate was nice enough to invite me. There was a celebration for Saint Joseph – a feast as a matter of fact. I came alone and only knew the person who invited me. She unfortunately had to work the whole time so there was no hand-holding. However, there was a family that came together. For one moment, I was adopted and had a family that I was a part of as opposed to being there totally alone. That was definitely one time that I enjoyed the company of others. In addition, I was the only black person there in a midst of Italian families and many people were solicitous, welcoming and gracious. It’s times like these that restore my faith in people’s abilities to transcend differences and just be.

I still find myself lonely from time to time but whenever it becomes very intense, an experience like today’s comes along and makes the going just a little easier.

Currently listening:
Blink the Brightest
By Tracy Bonham
Release date: 21 June, 2005

Category: Life

I’ve just finished (I think) watching the coverage of Coretta Scott King’s funeral. In a time where we have Black women “shaking that Laffy-Taffy” and being called gold-diggers, I think her funeral stands as a reminder to Black women and the world of who we really are. Her combination of both style and (most importantly) substance were a shining example for women for generations to come.

Category: Sports

I’m not athletically inclined at all! In school, I was always smart (and painfully skinny) so I naturally shied away from anything vaguely resembling sports. However, after having vacationed in Miami a couple of times and Jamaica once, I realized I needed to learn how to swim. I gave it a couple of tries and always ended up being so afraid of drowning that I proceeded to do just that – almost drown.

In 2004, I finally signed up for private lessons and saw progress! I was able to get in the water, follow directions and swim. I wasn’t ready for Olympic competition but I was out there doing my little thing. Then my instructor was fired/dismissed/no longer worked at the place where I was learning to swim. I lost my momentum and enthusiasm and soon stopped the classes.

Tonight, I just went to my first class and find that the zen or mind-body connection that I once had is now gone. I despair not because I plan to persevere until I once again am zipping about confidently in the water.

After all, I have some ocean swimming to do…

Tune in later for my swimming adventures.

Current mood:  optimistic

Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

I am going to start an Italian class tomorrow! Hopefully my learning capacity hasn’t diminished. I want to be able to speak legible Italian by June when I go on vacation, possibly to Italy. I can speak decent French and I hope the French experience will translate into ease of learning for my Italian. If you speak Italian, please check my progress from time to time. Right now, all I can say is “grazie” and my favorite – “ciao bello”.

Current mood:  confused

Category: Romance and Relationships

This primarily is to the guys. If it looks good, is it really good? I’ve had the dubious fortune of meeting some incredibly different guys (foreign, self-employed, non-9-5ers, etc.). They were attracted to me because of my looks (on the photographed days). However, I always felt like a little prize or better yet a “man-doll”. We had relationships that ranged between none and uh, none. They were rather content to take me out and spend money but the things that make a relationship were elusive at best. I have a lot churning in my head but rarely did I have anyone attempt to engage me on that level. I felt like a cardboard cut-out of myself.

My question to you today is this – if it’s good how do you ascertain the fact?

One really bad thing about this is that if I had insisted on this chain of events upfront and in the beginning, then I’m a Gold-Digger (though it’s true I’ve not been involved with many broke people)…

Current mood:  hopeful

Category: Romance and Relationships

Intention is a powerful thing. When trying to learn how to swim, I actually accomplished quite a bit when I stopped focusing on not-drowning but focused on swimming in the ocean during my next vacation instead.

Although I’m still not ready to go to Miami and swim out into the distance, I enjoyed a 1000 improvement in my ability. 

Now, I would like to turn my thoughts away from the negative past in regards to “men who done me wrong” and instead focus on my hopes and dreams of who is waiting for me in the not-so-distant future.

ABOUT HIM

He will be an intelligent man who is definitely comfortable in almost any environment. For those environments that he is not comfortable in, he will be socially adept enough to manage until we can gracefully leave. Not to leave out one of the more shallow but important things – he will be physically attractive to me (maybe not everyone else, who knows, but I will definitely want to spend the rest of my eternity on this plane looking at him). Most importantly, he will love me, understand me (or at least continuously try to understand me) and respect me. He will in fact be my best friend. And the devoted father of my children. And the sunshine on my cloudy day. And the twinkle in my eye when all around me is chaos.

ABOUT ME WITH HIM

I will be the carefree, loving person I long to be. There will be no bricks or mortar left from the old brick wall I built around myself long ago. I will luxuriate in the contentment created by being around someone who loves me and whom I in turn love back. Openly. Shamelessly. Ceaselessly. I too will be the twinkle in his eye when all around him is chaos (even if I created it). And the sunshine on his cloudy day. And the devoted mother of his children. I will be his best friend.

ABOUT US TOGETHER

Unfettered love.

IN THE MEANTIME

I am living my life (almost to the fullest).

Currently reading:

How to Attract Your Ideal Mate

By Linda Georgian

Release date: 28 January, 1999

Current mood:  enraged

I’m not sure if anyone outside of Atlanta is going through
the same thing or not but gas prices are shooting through the roof! Gas prices
have gone from $2.48 and $2.59 per gallon for regular unleaded (Saturday) to
over $3 per gallon today. The major price increases occurred today. Of course this
occured at the time I have a little more than 1/4 tank. My saving grace is that
I have a small, fuel efficient car that will run for two weeks on a full tank.
Right now, commuters are probably acting like crack addicts trying to pull
their car up to the next available pump.

Current mood:  bored

I’m sitting at work and am BORED! I’ve never blogged before so I guess now is as good a time as any. I just came from vacation and had an awesome time in Italy and Paris. I had the opportunity to see Gato Barbieri in concert in Bergamo, Italy. Absolutely fantabulous! Now that I’m back at work, I’m bored.

Currently listening:

Gato Barbieri’s Finest Hour

By Gato Barbieri

Release date: 12 September, 2000