In Snakes, Snakes, Snakes, I wrote about being frightened by a snake on my path while bicycling months ago and seeing a few dead snakes as well. I don’t feel alone in my aversion to snakes because it is a rather common phobia/fear/aversion. It used to be that I would jump out of my skin if I simply saw a snake on TV (worse would be a larger-than-life, big-screen snake while at the movies).
A few years ago, I had an exceptionally vivid dream that involved snakes. Instead of being in fear of them in my dream, I was at peace with them and there was an element of camaraderie between the snakes and I. The dream was so powerful and significant feeling that I wondered if I had lost my fear of snakes. I never tested the theory because I seldom watch TV and had not really seen any movies with snakes in them. I still lived in Saint Louis at the time, so I was far enough removed from “the wild” as to not have much of an opportunity to run across a snake in my daily life (although I had seen possums, bats and a coyote there). After a time, I kind of forgot about the nature of the dream and my curiosity regarding my fear potentially having dissipated.
This past week, I was filling time and meandered into a pet store which, among many other things, sold snakes. There was a baby ball python in his tank and I decided to face my fear of snakes in a limited way. I stood in front of the tank for probably 10 minutes just looking at the snake as it undulated around the tank going from being exposed on a faux tree limb to hiding in a faux tree trunk towards the back of the tank. After a while, it came out of its hiding place and moved towards the glass of the tank to check out what was going on. All the while, I stood there observing the snake with no fear. Even when the snake was near the glass and looking out towards me, I continued to observe the snake. No fear. As a matter of fact, I looked so long and so hard that I could appreciate some aspect of beauty the snake possessed. In return for the snake’s part in my experiment, I sent the snake Reiki to help it feel calm and peace in what I perceived to have been a chaotic environment. At one point, someone tapped on the glass of the tank which I found to be downright annoying. In reading, ball pythons are pretty docile but also extremely nervous. Tapping on the glass seemed like an upsetting event for an animal that is easily nervous.
Standing in front of the tank, observing the snake forever was one step forward in facing just one of my fears. In an earlier conversation with someone I actually attempt to heed when she speaks, she mentioned the unnecessary weight of fear that I carry regarding New Orleans. In Cajun Chaos, I recounted my early run-in with New Orleans which led to my vowing to not come NEAR New Orleans – EVER. It is an amazing testament to the concept of “never say never” that I live so close right now. Just as I was able to move beyond my fear and find some semblance of beauty in the python, the next task is to move beyond the fear of being a victim of violent crime in order to find the beauty in New Orleans. That can only be done when I stop cowering and turn to face New Orleans.
I’ve posted the video below because the story the video tells is about fear. Notice how, initially, the sound of the one guy walking behind the main character creates the tension. Yet, as the main character continues walking, his fear increases as the one guy becomes two, then, three. As his fear increases, the three increase to legions. The harder the main character runs away from the legions of menacing people chasing him, the more people there are chasing him. Finally, he stops and turns around. And they stop. As he faces the initial two who followed him, they both smile as if to acknowledge that he has just figured out their secret. It is at that point that he takes his first step towards the menacing legions. And they recede away from him. He takes another step forward and they recede. With each step forward he takes, they, as a group, recede until he is running towards them and they are now running FROM him. And that is the nature of fear; it dogs your every footstep or footfall as long as it is behind you. Yet, once you turn to face the fears and walk towards them, they disappear.