I remember being at the movie theater watching this scene play out on the screen as if it was yesterday. I underestimated the power of Tyler Perry’s writing abilities when this, “Diary of a Mad Black Woman”, his first movie, came to the screen. I had heard of people talking about his plays for ages but dismissed them because they always had too much going on at one time – gospel, comedy and drama all rolled into one. However, fate did intervene when I went to visit The First Love of My Life one weekend and we decided to go see this movie together. When this scene ended, I had tears in my eyes because the sentiments Shemar Moore expressed went straight to my heart and truly touched me. However, the more I tried to wipe the tears, the more I realized the source of those tears – I was sitting next to the one man I had loved the longest (over ten years at that point) and had just heard the words and sentiments expressed onscreen that I had yearned (for over ten years probably) to hear from him which would never be forthcoming. Soon my silent tears turned into weeping. The more I tried to control and contain it, the more they issued forth. Soon, I just went with it and sobbed until all of the emotion that sprang forth had run its course. It was on his shoulder that I cried, wept and sobbed. Recently, I’ve met people who have shared tidbits about their relationships. There was a woman who moved to a small town from Miami over forty years ago for love. She and her husband are still together in the small town and obviously still in love. There was another woman whose husband always buys her clothes (without her) and gets the size right. However, when she goes to buy clothes for herself and tries them on, she can never get her own size quite right. There was another couple where the wife explained that her husband does all the cooking, buys her clothes and purses and even brings her freshly ground and brewed coffee each morning. All of these women were very happily involved in stable relationships with men who obviously cherished them.* I want THAT. I don’t need freshly ground and brewed coffee brought to me each day or even clothing or gifts purchased. For me, the biggest way to demonstrate that I am loved and cared for and cherished is to show up in the relationship as consistently and as honestly as possible. It is as simple and as complicated as that. However, it’s not just that I want someone who will cherish me – that would be rather lopsided. I want someone who I, in turn, will cherish as well. It is so easy to say that I want to be loved and cherished and understood and cared for. Yet, it is vitally important to me to be able to love, to cherish, to understand and to care for someone and to express those emotions without fear of him running for the hills, or worse, sticking around to take advantage of my feelings (barrier to overcome, I know). At the end of the day, the beginning of the day and every point in between, I am ready for a steady and consistent love that I both receive and give. * The heavily material nature of the conversations is based on the conversations taking place in a department store…