In the spirit of “seek and you shall find” and “ask and you shall receive”, I’ve decided to put forth my detailed request to the universe for a relationship.
First and foremost, I would like someone who can be a co-creator and co-star of my dreams. I dream of living in another country and seeing as much of the world as possible. Because it is the oldest dream that I have for my life, I want someone who will be a part of that dream as opposed to someone who will discount it, fear it, hinder it or in any way attempt to change it.
I want someone with whom I can share mutual love, care and respect. I truly emphasize the word mutual. I have been in positions where I’ve met people who had stars in their eyes for me whose depth of feelings I could never return. I’ve firmly insisted on those relationships being friendships and tried to never take advantage of the other person’s feelings for me. I want someone who holds as much love, care and respect in their heart and soul for me as I do for them. I don’t place much emphasis on “being in love” because that is a state of being where people tend to feel as if love is some magical state of being that has “happened”. I want the kind of love that is a conscious act of loving. In the about me section, I mentioned there will be other people who look better, are smarter, etc. than me. I feel that people who consciously love each other are able to look beyond the endless parade of other people and recognize the value of what they share. One of my measures of love’s conscious decision making is what a person does when opportunity presents itself at a time where no one else is around to witness or tell.
Although the physical relationship is just as important as the emotional relationship, I will leave quite a bit of this description alone. As succinctly as possible, I want someone with whom I can share a physical relationship that synthesizes the tactile, visual, auditory, gustatory and olfactory to create an experience that transcends the physical realm. Enough said on that.
Going back to the concept of co-creator, I need someone with whom I will consciously co-create a family. I have had the weirdest experiences with this aspect. I’ve been involved with people whose children I dreamed of birthing but the relationship or circumstances never made it to that point and I refused to trap anyone in an “unplanned” pregnancy (I view that as trapping myself). However, I have had two people (not just one) offer to reverse their vasectomies if I wanted to have children. If it were just children that I wanted, I could have had them a long time ago. However, I am holding out (and have been holding out) for a family – not just children. I hope to meet the person with whom I can share the beauty and responsibility of our progeny and who is able to provide opportunities that would enrich our children’s lives.
I’m about to end this shortly but want to add a few loose ends here. I want someone who is tender and kind but firm and assertive and knows the appropriate time to be each. I want someone with whom I can be vulnerable and someone who will move mountains on my behalf to protect me. I want someone who can hold me when I need to feel his arms around me but can open his arms and let me be free. I want someone with whom I can spend time without a plan and with whom I can look forward to talking to for years to come.
This isn’t all but I think it’s a good start.
Currently listening:
Corinne Bailey Rae
By Corinne Bailey Rae
Release date: 07 March, 2006