This weekend I went to see a sneak preview of Blood Diamond (don’t worry, I won’t give the movie away). Although the movie addresses a serious topic, conflict diamonds whose profits finance(d) torturous rebel factions in Sierra Leone, I was moved by something totally different – passionate fatherhood.
The main character is a Sierra Leonian father (played by Djimon Hounsou, I must pause to fan myself-I’ll continue typing in about 15 minutes…) who risks everything to find and then reunite his family. In his life, he doesn’t have much by way of material riches but he places supreme value on his family which includes a wife, daughter, son and a baby whose sex I am not sure of. Before trouble sets in, you see him interacting with his son and espousing his hopes and dreams for him. Although the movie shows the family going through dramatic conflicts which in turn warrant dramatic efforts to counterbalance it, it is rather arresting to see the passion with which Djimon’s character expresses his devotion to his family.
His passion resonates strongly with me because it so sharply contrasts with my reality and the reality of so many that I know. The example of fatherhood that I have from my own experience and that I’ve seen in the life of others is non-existent. Or fatherhood is an optional situation that men move in and out of at will. This is one part of my reality that I struggle to overcome. The things that you experience and see as a child growing up are often the things that subconsciously color your perceptions later in life. It is that potential absence (or optionality) of a father figure that grossly colors my perception to the point where most people don’t even realize that I want children. To illustrate the pervasiveness of my reality, I’ve had conversations with men when they speak about their children and how they feel about them and in my mind I’m like a three year old when you tell them that there have been men who walked on the moon (WOW! Really?!!). I’ve had men respond to the fact that I want children with a surprised tone similar in reaction as if I admitted that I enjoy having a root canal done without anesthesia – or better yet a mirror of my reaction, WOW! Really?!!
So yes, I do want to have children but most importantly I want to have them with someone as passionate about being their father as Djimon Hounsou was in Blood Diamond. Maybe that is what I will put on my hypothetical life’s Christmas list. I realize there is a lot of work that I need to do on my own as well so yes it’s on the list and I’m going to work on me too.
As for the movie, I highly recommend seeing it. It makes you think differently about the bling-bling and even the traditional engagement ring with which we adorn ourselves. Other than the list price on the small, discreet tag, what is the true cost of this piece of hardened coal that sparkles so beguilingly in front of us?
The movie opens nationwide December 8. For more information, go to Blood Diamond the movie.