<\/FONT><\/FONT><\/FONT>When I lived in Saint Louis, I had two relationships – one that set a high standard for relationships and another that plunged the depths of low. The high standard relationship was everything I could ask for – until it ended. I took the end pretty hard. I lost about 10 pounds instantly and didn’t really function much day-to-day after the semester ended. Despite the difficulty I was going through attempting to adjust to the loss, I still vacillated between wanting to randomly see him and not wanting a visual reminder of that which I felt I had lost.<\/p>\n <\/FONT><\/FONT><\/FONT>One day, a while after the breakup, I saw him. Based on the myriad emotions I felt at that moment, I decided to write what I thought would be a poem. However, there were no rhyming words at the end of the stanzas. It felt like poetry when I wrote it and still feels like poetry when I read it now. <\/p>\n If I See Him<\/b><\/u> <\/p>\n If I see him, all that was good in my life is forgotten, replaced by the deep well of regret that I wasn\u2019t The One. <\/span><\/p>\n If I see him, my heart\u2019s staccato rhythm is for several moments erratically offbeat. <\/p>\n <\/font><\/p>\n If I see him, my heart relocates from its usual spot off-center of my chest and instead is on the ground. <\/span><\/p>\n If I see him, despite my better judgment, I want to walk into his arms and have him hold me. <\/p>\n <\/font><\/p>\n If I see him, I instantly wonder if I look good or if I should have worn a different outfit that day.<\/p>\n If I see him, I always want to place my hand on his back, underneath his shirt so that I can feel his body heat radiating on my hand. <\/p>\n <\/font><\/p>\n If I see him, I struggle to keep the emotions of my heart from flying out through my eyes.<\/p>\n Fortunately, I don\u2019t see him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \n <\/font><\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" When I lived in Saint Louis, I had two relationships – one that set a high standard for relationships and another that plunged the depths of low. The high standard relationship was everything I could ask for – until it ended. I took the end pretty hard. I lost about 10 pounds instantly and didn’t … Continue reading If I See Him<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-musings"],"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":false,"thumbnail":false,"medium":false,"medium_large":false,"large":false,"1536x1536":false,"2048x2048":false,"post-thumbnail":false},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"pfspirit","author_link":"https:\/\/www.petitefreespirit.com\/index.php\/author\/pfspirit\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"When I lived in Saint Louis, I had two relationships – one that set a high standard for relationships and another that plunged the depths of low. The high standard relationship was everything I could ask for – until it ended. I took the end pretty hard. I lost about 10 pounds instantly and didn’t…","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.petitefreespirit.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.petitefreespirit.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.petitefreespirit.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.petitefreespirit.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.petitefreespirit.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.petitefreespirit.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":624,"href":"https:\/\/www.petitefreespirit.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17\/revisions\/624"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.petitefreespirit.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.petitefreespirit.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.petitefreespirit.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}